Des Tatler

Therapeutic Counselling with a Relational Focus | 拢65.00 per session

What hurts in connection, heals in connection.

We鈥檙e shaped in relationship 鈥� and often wounded there, too. If you鈥檙e feeling burnt out, shut down, overwhelmed, or caught in the same painful cycles with others (or with yourself) 鈥� whether in intimate relationships, family dynamics, friendships, or at work 鈥� you鈥檙e not alone. Beneath most struggles sits a longing: to be met, understood, valued, or allowed to be fully yourself. Therapy offers a space where the patterns that once protected you can be explored, softened, and transformed.

I work from an attachment-based approach rooted in the belief that what is wounded in relationship can be repaired in relationship. Many of the difficulties we face 鈥� anxiety, low mood, loneliness, conflict, self-doubt 鈥� trace back to earlier experiences where our emotional world wasn鈥檛 fully met or understood. These experiences quietly shape how we love, how we cope, how we defend, and how we sometimes lose ourselves. In therapy, we become curious about these patterns together 鈥� not to blame the past, but to free you in the present.

Grief is also a significant part of the work I do. This may be the grief of losing someone, or the quieter, older grief that comes from childhood 鈥� loss through death, parental separation or family breakdown, estrangement, or the absence of the care you needed. Grief can also emerge in the transitions of adult life 鈥� when relationships end, identities shift, or the future you hoped for no longer matches the life you鈥檙e living. In therapy, we make space for both: the grief you can name, and the grief you鈥檝e been carrying silently for years. 

My style is warm, steady, and genuinely relational. I pay close attention to how life has taught you to protect yourself 鈥� through shutting down, accommodating others, striving, withdrawing, or staying strong for too long 鈥� and we explore the emotional logic behind these responses with compassion for why they formed. You don鈥檛 have to do this alone; we work in that middle ground where safety and discomfort meet 鈥� the place where real transformation becomes possible.

In our work, we explore:

• relational patterns and the needs beneath them
• how past experiences echo through present-day feelings
• how familiar patterns and ruptures show up 鈥� and how repair can happen within them
• strengthening boundaries, self-worth, and emotional clarity 
• meeting the parts of you that feel unseen, overwhelmed, or 鈥渢oo much鈥�

My background in yoga and contemplative practice helps me bring a calm, grounded presence to sessions. I鈥檓 also guided by the natural world 鈥� its rhythms, resilience, and interconnectedness 鈥� which influences how I hold the work, even when this remains unspoken.

If this approach resonates with you, I invite you to get in touch.

I also welcome therapists in training who are seeking their own therapy, particularly those interested in experiencing attachment-based work from the inside.