Luke Row

I currently have limited availability for new clients (both individual and couples). 

If you're drawn to this way of working but I don't have immediate space, I'm happy to let you know when something becomes available. Finding the right therapeutic fit matters - take time to consider whether my approach resonates with what you're looking for.

I take breaks at Easter, August, and Christmas. These are planned well in advance and we always discuss them together.

I'm Luke, a Â鶹ԭ´´-registered psychodynamic therapist based in Croydon. I'm currently undertaking advanced couples psychotherapy training at Tavistock Relationships and hold trainee membership with the British Psychoanalytic Council.

I trained in psychodynamic counselling over 10 years ago at the University of Greenwich and have been working as a therapist ever since - first in Central London, then establishing my Croydon practice in 2021, post lockdowns. I'm in regular clinical supervision and ongoing personal therapy.

I work with individuals who've become so good at being what everyone needs that they've forgotten who they actually are. And I work with couples who've become so good at managing each other's feelings that they've lost track of their own.

You might look fine from the outside - work gets done, relationships are maintained, you show up for everyone. But something essential is missing. For individuals: the gap between how you look and how you feel. For couples: the distance between you that's somehow got wider despite all your efforts.

I offer psychodynamic therapy - not CBT, not quick fixes, not communication skills training. This is therapy that explores why patterns keep repeating, not just how to manage them better. We look at the unconscious patterns, the things you learned early that still run your life, the ways your defences have become the problem.

For individuals: 50-minute sessions, weekly, £65 per session

For couples: 50-minute sessions, weekly, £95 per session

In person in Croydon (near East/West Croydon station) or online anywhere in the UK.

The performance is exhausting, isn't it?

If you're coming alone: You've mastered being what everyone needs. You can explain your patterns perfectly, using all the right psychological language. But nothing actually changes. Or maybe you can't explain what's wrong at all - you just know the same things keep happening.

If you're coming as a couple: You've become so good at managing each other that you've lost track of what you actually feel. You're either having the same argument in different packaging, or you're so careful that nothing real gets said anymore.

I work with all couples - married or unmarried, heterosexual or LGBTQ+, monogamous or non-monogamous.

We meet weekly, same time, same space - in person in Croydon or online. For couples: both of you together in the room. This consistency creates a container safe enough to bring what hasn't been said yet.

The patterns destroying your life (or your relationship) will show up here too. How you defend against closeness, avoid your own feelings, protect yourself from vulnerability - all of it emerges. Here, we can look at it instead of just repeating it.

I won't give you homework or teach you coping skills. I won't take sides in couples work or tell you what to do in individual therapy. What I will do is help you understand what's actually driving the patterns that won't shift - the things happening underneath that you can't see yet.

This work takes time. Usually six months minimum, often longer. You'll discover things you've been avoiding. You might feel worse before something shifts. Real change doesn't come from understanding yourself perfectly - it emerges when you stop trying to manage yourself or the other person.

For individuals: The first session is 50 minutes at £65, the same as ongoing sessions.

For couples: I arrange a longer 90-minute initial session. After that, regular sessions are 50 minutes at £95.

We'll talk about what's not working anymore, what performance you're tired of maintaining (individual) or what's happening between you that you can't seem to shift (couples).

Don't worry about having the right words or explaining everything perfectly. You just need to know that what you're doing isn't working anymore.

If we all feel this approach could be helpful, we'll arrange a regular weekly time. I work open-ended - no fixed number of sessions.

Email hello@talktoluke.com to get started.

For individuals: I work with high-functioning depression, anxiety that looks like being organised, relationship patterns that repeat, the exhaustion behind competence, patterns that keep you safe but lonely.

For couples: affairs and betrayal, arguments that go nowhere, lost intimacy, family patterns showing up in your relationship, sexual difficulties, wanting different things you can't discuss, considering separation.