Menopause is a natural phase of life. Yet it's surrounded by myths and misconceptions that leave many women confused and unprepared.

We know from our Public Perceptions Survey that more than a third (35%) of women, aged 35 to 64, say their mental health suffers because of the menopause. And one in 10 women told us they鈥檝e had counselling for the first time to help support them through the menopause.

There鈥檚 a lot of information out there, from exaggerated fears about mood swings to misleading beliefs about aging and sexuality. But how can we separate the fact from the fiction?

And what impact do all these misconceptions have on women鈥檚 mental health?

We asked our members for their thoughts and advice on managing this often-misunderstood life transition and to help us quash some menopause myths

It鈥檚 a life transition - not an illness

麻豆原创 member and believes it鈥檚 too easy to reduce menopause to an illness:

鈥淚t鈥檚 a life transition not an illness and a natural phase of change in a women's development. We need to shift this mindset and start viewing menopause with regard and respect. This could improve the experience for many women and help develop a healthier attitude about themselves and what they need, to be well in the later years of life.聽

鈥淓very woman鈥檚 menopause experience is unique and complex,鈥� she adds, 鈥淕eneral Practitioner鈥檚 (GP) menopause care strategies tend to be generalised and focus on managing individual symptoms. These are viewed through a medical lens and perceived as a hormone deficient disorder rather than a significant life transition - with little regard for the patient as a person,鈥� she adds.

agrees: 鈥淚t鈥檚 a transitionary time and it鈥檚 not uncommon for difficult experiences, long thought dealt with, to remerge. In which case, therapy can be a powerful catalyst for understanding previous experiences in new light.鈥澛�

Look at it as an opportunity for personal growth 鈥� it鈥檚 not all negative

Lina says it鈥檚 better to view the menopause as a transformative process with opportunities for personal growth and development.

鈥淚t can be a profound phase of change in a woman鈥檚 life. The thought of menopause can provoke all sorts of reactions; from avoidance to minimising its existence, recoil to disgust, fear to anger of the unknown. If we rely on inherited negative beliefs around what menopause is, the experience can often fulfil the expectation that it鈥檚 painful and full of loss.鈥�

鈥淪tart with getting to know who you are, how you got here, values and beliefs that informed decision making - to working out who I can be now,鈥� she adds, 鈥淭his has the potential for great change and empowerment, and where therapy has an important place to provide the necessary facets to facilitate this process.鈥�

It鈥檚 about much more than just stopped periods 鈥� symptoms vary

鈥淭he perimenopause is when symptoms like missed periods begin,鈥� explains , a relationship therapist. 鈥淥ften other symptoms, such as hot flushes, itching and night sweats, are initially noticed only in the week when you would have had a period.

鈥淧erimenopause symptoms vary between individuals, with some people being severely affected and others not noticing symptoms at all,鈥� she adds.

鈥淲omen can start experiencing symptoms many years before they officially enter menopause (defined by 52 weeks without a bleed),鈥� says Brieanne. 鈥淎nd many of the early signs and symptoms may be more emotionally or mentally experienced rather than physically understood. Menopause is not just hot flushes and an absent period.鈥澛�

It doesn鈥檛 mean your sex life is over 鈥� for many, it improves

鈥淥ne of the biggest misconceptions about menopause is that you鈥檒l go off sex,鈥� says Cate

鈥淭his results in some pushing away their desire when they think menopause is approaching. In fact, for many, sex improves during or after the menopause.

鈥淥ther symptoms, such as painful vaginal dryness, sleep disturbances, mood swings, hot flushes, heavy, painful periods and sweating, are not at all sexy and may be difficult to manage, making sex the last thing on someone鈥檚 mind. It can be helpful to try to maintain emotional and physical connection so that mid-life doesn鈥檛 feel all about loss,鈥� she adds.

鈥淚n the past, the idea of menopause often came hand in hand with an image of someone who is struggling,鈥� says

鈥淚t was often referred to, in whispers - as 鈥榯he change鈥� - as if the word menopause was something to be embarrassed about. Yes, menopause can be an unsettling, challenging time. But that doesn鈥檛 mean that we somehow become weaker.鈥� 聽

鈥淚t鈥檚 an incredibly individual experience,鈥� she adds. 鈥淎nd that can make it even harder to know when to seek support, as it鈥檚 not always going to be clear what鈥檚 causing the changes in our physical and emotional wellbeing.鈥�

It鈥檚 not all about mood swings 鈥� there鈥檚 a range of emotions

鈥淔rom a physiological point of view, we know that this simply isn鈥檛 true,鈥� says Georgina.

鈥淏ut it鈥檚 also relevant from an emotional perspective. During menopause, women often find themselves experiencing new and different emotions, and they often go through heightened periods of anxiety or low mood.鈥� 聽

鈥淢any people expect symptoms to stop with their periods but, for some women, they can continue for decades, albeit in a diminished form,鈥� says Cate.

鈥淭here鈥檚 a belief that HRT fixes everything. It certainly causes some women to experience very noticeably increased libido, while others who expected improvement notice no effect at all.

鈥淯npleasant symptoms in mid-life are often attributed to menopause, but it鈥檚 always worth checking that there isn鈥檛 another cause, especially when they continue beyond the cessation of periods,鈥� she adds.

Although each woman will experience the hormonal changes in a unique way, Brieanne says there are some symptoms that do seem to appear more often.

鈥淢any women experience anxiety or depression or both - some of which is seemingly out of nowhere,鈥� she says. 鈥淭his can be experienced as nighttime wakefulness, irritability, racing thoughts, pounding heart, ruminating (thinking on the same thing over and over) and black and white thinking (all good/all bad thinking).

鈥淔or many this is a totally new experience, for others this will be an intensification of what they have already experienced and dealt with for many years.

鈥淚n either case, working with a therapist to address these thinking patterns is a helpful second step and often leads to longer term success and relief,鈥� she adds

How therapy can help

鈥淭herapy can help with symptoms by helping to identify where there are errors in your thinking and support you to create new, stronger thought patterns,鈥� says Brieanne.

鈥淚t can also help to give you a more neutral perspective on the experiences of daily life and help you to think more flexibly.鈥�

鈥淥ften when a menopausal woman arrives in my practice it鈥檚 the first time she鈥檚 had the opportunity to be seen and heard just for herself.

鈥淚t鈥檚 in the telling of her story and being seen within the context of her life that we can begin to understand why she is feeling anxious/depressed.

鈥淎nd sometimes this becomes a question of helping her to discern what she wants to do next in her life - as many women ultimately begin to ask what they want the second half of their lives to look like,鈥� she adds.

To find a therapist who can help you during the menopause visit our Therapist Directory.