Time to say ‘goodbye' the grace and grief of endings at work
Â鶹ԭ´´ Workplace, January 2026

Having witnessed the harm – financial and psychological – of poorly managed endings, Lizzie Bentley Bowers and Alison Lucas share their research and offer tools and guidance for how to create better endings at work.Ìý

Our working lives are full of beginnings and endings. New beginnings offer hope and energy, not to mention budgets, which tend to flow into getting projects off to a strong start. And, even when a beginning feels daunting or uncertain, it still carries the appeal of being future-facing – igniting the energy that drives an organisation forward, offering visible moments where investment can be justified and celebrated by everyone.

In contrast, endings and goodbyes tend to be seen as a winding down of energy, motivation and connection, and a source of sadness and discomfort. Some are easy to spot – retirement, redundancies, restructures and office closures. Others, less so: a promotion that changes old loyalties, a rebrand that severs a sense of history, or the quiet disbanding of a project that once felt like ‘home’.Ìý

And while endings at work rarely attract the same levels of attention or funding, they can offer equally powerful moments of transition and renewal. They may not appear to be an appealing investment opportunity, and yet mishandled endings carry their own, often hidden, costs. The quiet loss of knowledge when experienced people leave their workplace, the dip in morale as teams adjust, the time spent re-establishing trust or rebuilding cohesion all have financial and cultural consequences. Therapists will know all too well how unacknowledged endings can erode engagement, reduce productivity and delay the very new beginnings that organisations are so eager to invest in.Ìý

In our work as executive coaches, we too often see the very real impact of ignored or poorly managed endings on individuals, teams and organisations. We also found a gap on our leadership bookshelves on how leaders can navigate endings at work, which led us to write our book Good Bye: leading change better by attending to endings to support leaders with this often-overlooked aspect of their work. In this article, we share our observations on the impact of avoiding endings, as well as the reasons why it happens. We also offer ideas that can help everyone create brighter beginnings by attending to how things end at work.Ìý

When it didn’t end well

Can you remember a time when a client or a colleague told you about a bad ending at work? Or can you remember a time in your own career when you experienced a bad ending that has stayed with you? We’d be surprised if the answer to either of these questions is ‘no’. Indeed, when we told people we were writing a book on endings in organisations, it took little encouragement for stories of poorly managed endings to emerge – often months, even years, after the ending had taken place.Ìý

When someone leaves work in difficult circumstances, the practical gaps tend to be filled relatively quickly, such as by appointing a new person. However, the emotional and relational vacuum can take far longer to settle, leaving unanswered questions lingering in corridors and inboxes:ÌýWhat happened? Did we do something wrong? Are we allowed to talk to them? Unanswered questions or hastily closed down conversations ripple through the system, eroding trust and leaving people wary of what might end next and what it might mean for them.Ìý

Everyday endingsÌý

Examples of poorly managed endings aren’t restricted to how people leave roles. Pitches, projects, brands and product lines all end in organisations every day. Teams merge or are restructured. Office spaces are moved or reassigned. Directives shifting from one way of working to another are issued. It’s likely the list of endings your clients are experiencing will be long and varied. But when those endings are ignored or poorly managed, the emotional impact lingers and continues to shape the culture beneath the surface. These ripples can be far-reaching in terms of time and how long the memory holds that pain or discomfort, often affecting future behaviour and decision making. You will no doubt have observed how serious those consequences can be for people, often leaving wounds.Ìý

For organisations, the financial cost can be high too – that might be in the form of hesitant decision making, absences, projects failing, or a team struggling to align and bond. It might be in repeated costly recruitment processes for a role that no one seems to quite be able to settle into, or, as we often encounter, the high emotional and financial cost of legal processes.Ìý

Endings are rarely neat and tidy. They are full of tricky and messy stuff – unfinished conversations, mixed emotions and human complexity that refuses to be wrapped up neatly with a bow. Given their importance, let’s look at why we avoid them.Ìý

A blind spotÌý

While therapists are no strangers to the landscapes of attachment and separation that shape our inner worlds, few of us outside the therapy profession are taught how to end well. Our education and professional training emphasise achievement and progress, not how to close or let go. Leadership theory too often focuses on vision and change, rather than closure. What people resist is rarely the change itself but the loss that accompanies it.Ìý

As William Bridges, whose seminal work on transitions in organisations is widely cited in leadership, observed: successful change begins not with a new beginning, but with an ending – the conscious process of letting the old situation be left behind.¹ Yet, the psychological work of endings, individually and collectively, is often missing from leadership development, leaving leaders ill-equipped to recognise and navigate it. Let’s look at why that is.Ìý

Demand for positivityÌý

Organisational cultures frequently reward optimism and discourage expressions of disappointment or grief.² The ‘brave face’ is valued more than the honest one. While positivity has its place, suppressing emotion can get in the way of people naming and processing what has happened and learning from it. Avoidance may reduce discomfort in the short term, but it undermines trust, cohesion and mental health over time.³Ìý

Vulnerability and lossÌý

To attend well to endings is to acknowledge vulnerability – our own and others’.⁴ It requires an ability to sit with uncertainty, sadness and loss, without rushing to repair them. Many leaders find this difficult because endings touch something deeply human: our wish to avoid pain, and control outcomes and move quickly to the next certainty. Yet our attempts to bypass discomfort often amplify it. Honesty and compassion can coexist and when leaders model this emotional maturity, they create permission for others to do the same. In contrast, when vulnerability is seen as weakness, emotion can find its way out through gossip, resistance or quiet resentment.^5Ìý

The impulse to fixÌý

Leaders often equate care with problem-solving. Faced with loss or disappointment, the instinct is to smooth things over, reorganise or reframe.⁶ However well-intentioned, this can leave people feeling unseen or unacknowledged. The unprocessed emotion doesn’t vanish; it ripples outward, showing up later as mistrust, fatigue or disengagement.Ìý

Organisational conditionsÌý

Even where leaders wish to attend properly to endings, organisational structures and processes can get in the way. Legal constraints, confidentiality and the relentless pace of work often silence conversations. During periods of intense change, as seen during the pandemic, urgency became habitual, leaving little room for pause or ritual. The result is cumulative fatigue and diminished trust, as people absorb one unacknowledged ending after another without time to process what has gone.Ìý

However, when endings are handled with attention and honesty, when we name what’s happening, acknowledge the emotion and what went before, and find a way of closing, there can be a release of energy and a renewed sense of stability and clarity.Ìý

Tending to the ripplesÌý

Attending to endings is not about sentimentality or grand gestures. It is about stewardship, tending to the unseen ripples that endings send through teams and organisations. When leaders face those moments with honesty and care, relationships repair more quickly, confidence in leadership strengthens and energy returns to the work that lies ahead. Retirement is an example of an ending loaded with personal significance – marking not only leaving a role, but also the end of working life as it has been known, and signalling transitions in identity, relationships, how time is marked and used, and much more besides.Ìý

People often assume they’ll slip easily into retirement, imagining new routines and freedom from deadlines. Yet when the day finally arrives, it can feel unexpectedly flat. Without genuine acknowledgment, even those eager for change can be left with a quiet ache, and a sense that their work and identity no longer matter. In our conversations with retirees, this sense of disconnection can often be traced back to missed opportunities, where important aspects of an ending are ignored or rushed. In our book, we devised The REAR Four Steps, an acronym for Reality, Emotions, Accomplishments and Ritual, and each of these steps needs to be worked through. When they are not, a retirement can be experienced like this:Ìý

• Reality: The true impact of the new rhythm of life on themselves and their closest relationships was not fully considered.
• Emotion: Feelings were contained, for fear of upsetting others or seeming overly sentimental.
• Accomplishment: Pride in achievements went unspoken, and the farewell speeches felt impersonal, as though they could have been for anyone.
• Ritual: Busy workplaces defaulted to quick drinks and standard speeches, overlooking the deeper need for personal and collective closure.Ìý

When these four steps are not tended to, the effects of feeling uncertain, unappreciated, perhaps unexpectedly low in energy, ripple out beyond the retiree. Their families, too, may feel resentment that years of hard work and contribution ended with little recognition. Retirement, when not properly marked, risks becoming not a celebration of a career well-lived, but a quiet, painful, fading out.^6Ìý

Some of the stories of leaving workplaces that we shared in our book resonated so deeply with readers that many people have asked if the stories were ‘their stories’. The answer was no, but these experiences are so common in terms of the frequency and the feelings felt that they are, in that sense, stories that belong to many of us.Ìý

When it ends wellÌý

However, when endings are done well, there are positive ripples and repercussions, which echo on. When farewells are personal and heartfelt, the impact can be profound. One retiring leader who loved hiking was honoured with a walk along Hadrian’s Wall. His colleagues joined him at different stages along the route, from those he’d known many years to more recent team members. As they walked, they shared memories, turning the journey into a living tribute to hisÌýaccomplishments and the relationships he had built, as well as ensuring he felt genuinely seen and valued for his contribution. He now looks back on his time with the organisation with appreciation and is fully engaged with his new life. We can see how a retirement being handled this way could strengthen trust across the company. His colleagues can feel their own contributions matter, reflected in higher engagement scores. And he and his former colleagues continue to speak positively about the organisation, boosting its reputation, attracting strong candidates and supporting high retention.

What difference does a good ending make?Ìý

A good ending, or one that, however unwanted, is met with honesty, attention, dignity and compassion, frees energy, restores trust and clears the ground for new beginnings to take root.⁷ It allows people to leave well and others to stay well. It builds trust and connection. The ripple effect is still widely felt, but now in individual wellbeing, in stronger team relationships and positively across the organisation.Ìý

Leaders who can lead endings well are better equipped to lead through anything. They create space for truth-telling, for emotion to be acknowledged and for lessons to be learned. It allows people to step forward lighter, rather than burdened by confusion, resentment or regret, that they might not realise they are carrying. The system feels calmer; people can trust that when endings come, as they always do, they will be handled with care.Ìý

Teams that pause to name what’s ended, reflect on what was achieved, and mark the moment are more creative, resilient and connected. They’re less likely to repeat mistakes and more likely to retain talent. Energy once lost to speculation or rumination is redirected into learning and possibility. Good endings also create opportunities for greater equity. When we make time to attend to what is closing, we also notice whose contributions have gone unseen, whose experiences were overlooked, and which patterns are no longer serving everyone well or equitably. Endings, done well, can help redistribute power and open space for fairer, more intentional beginnings.Ìý

Towards better endings at workÌý

If we want to have better endings, we can start by teaching it. Most of us were never taught how to end well. There is an opportunity to incorporate thinking about endings and learning to navigate them well, into learning about leadership.Ìý

We also need to slow the pace down. When everything is urgent, the quieter work of acknowledging what’s ending, and who is affected, gets lost.Ìý

As practitioners, we value simple models that have rigour behind them. In our book, we offer leaders a practical framework to help them work more confidently and safely through the emotional work of endings. (For further information about the REAR Four Steps, visit ).

Closing thoughts

When we attend to endings with care, we step into the role of steward. In doing so, rather than attending only to the task or person immediately in front of us, we hold the wider systems of teams and relationships. Each ending we attend to with dignity sends ripples of integrity through that system.⁹ When we neglect them, those ripples can turn into undercurrents of confusion or loss that others must navigate later. A well-managed ending allows the investment that has been made in new beginnings to have even greater energy, trust and confidence, increasing the likelihood of their success.Ìý

The skills of leading endings well are transferrable to other aspects of leadership, with positive ripples on organisational outcomes, culture and wellbeing. To lead endings well is to recognise that we are part of something bigger than ourselves – a web of human experience that reaches far beyond one team, one project or one moment. Far from being a point of disconnection from someone or something, the ending cements the connection. By naming what is real, making room for emotion, acknowledging accomplishment and marking the transition with intention, we can create brighter beginnings for all.Ìý