Positive steps stories

"I have three children and have benefited from some form of therapy and counselling after the birth of all of them. The cause for me seeking help was different each time.

"My oldest son was born during the pandemic in May 2021. I gave birth to him four or five days after the wards reopened. I struggled with my mental health from as soon as he was born but it definitely got worse over the course of the first five to six weeks. My health visitor could see something wasn’t quite right and stepped up support. She also put me in touch with a local charity who provided free counselling for up to an hour a week. It was a space to talk about what I was going through without any judgement. If it wasn’t for my health visitor I don’t think I would be here today.

"After the birth of my second child, I was fine for the first couple of months but then post-natal depression started to settle in. I didn’t feel it was taken seriously at first when I was reporting symptoms to my GP and midwives. I pushed through to five months but then had a really bad day when it became clear I needed help. After this I was put on anti-depressants by my GP and started weekly counselling.

"It was a completely different experience for my third son, who I had a traumatic birth experience with. The team in the hospital proactively organised cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) for me as I was experiencing PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) symptoms like having flashbacks, as well as constant anxiety about danger.

"I was pretty cynical about cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) at first but now I would 100 % recommend it to new mums who may be struggling and need support. My advice to new parents is to push for the support you need and be vocal about what you are feeling. Therapy and counselling can help you get through the difficult periods."

"Since 2019, I’ve started my own business, The Women’s Association, and had three children who are now five, two, and six months old. It’s been such a busy six years, and somewhere along the way, I started shutting down my emotions so that I could do everything that was required of me as a mum and business owner.

"Being a founder of a small start up I was not able to have maternity leave after giving birth to each of my kids, this gave birth to extreme mum guilt and caused postnatal depression after each pregnancy. I told my midwives, but I didn’t get any real support until my third. That’s when a midwife referred me to the counselling charity MumsAid. At first, I was really hesitant, I didn’t know exactly how to articulate what I was going through and I assumed it would take a lot out of me emotionally which would be hard to navigate as a mum and business owner.

"After my third child, I could see how the accumulation of not having maternity leave and the stresses of running a business were causing me to shut down emotionally and become highly functional. I wanted to make a change so that I could be emotionally present for my kids as they grew up. In my first session with MumsAid I went in feeling apprehensive, but once I let my guard down, I realised it was a safe space where I could unpack the weight I had been carrying.

"I’m genuinely grateful for the support I received from MumsAid that has helped to add clarity and perspective at a time where I was still trying to figure out the balance of motherhood, work and life."

"I had overwhelming intrusive and dark thoughts throughout the 12months after my first son was born, but I only sought help and had cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) therapy halfway through my difficult Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) pregnancy with my second son. The condition, which causes severe morning sickness symptoms, made my mental health a lot worse.

"There wasn’t a specific moment that prompted me to seek help, but a bubbling up of certain dark, vivid thoughts consistently every day. I had just assumed every mum was experiencing the same feelings, it wasn’t until I spoke to some close friends who were also mums that I realised that wasn’t the case.

"I found it impossible to consider things like my husband taking our son on a long car journey, because of these dark thoughts. I had two trips coming up in a few months’ time where I knew I’d need to leave my children and the thought of it was unbearable and overwhelming.

"It became too much to take, and I spoke to my GP who told me I could self-refer to IAPT (Improving Access to Psychological Therapies), now known as NHS Talking Therapies. They got back to me in 24 hours, and within three or four days, I had my first cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) call.

"My therapist was amazing. It was cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) led, but we delved into parts of my life and unlocked things I never even realised were contributing to my negative state of mind.

"I’d definitely recommend therapy or counselling with a registered professional to new mums and I have done. While it’s very individual to each person (and may not be right for everyone) I would recommend it if you’re considering it.

"I currently volunteer for PSS - Pregnancy Sickness Support. Pregnancy Sickness Support is a charity that helps mums suffering with extreme morning sickness and Hyperemesis Gravidarum. I speak to some of the women I work with about considering therapy if they’re struggling with their mental wellbeing."

"I have only just started therapy. I hadn’t experienced any trauma in my life so for many years I thought it wasn’t for me.

"Despite this, I had thought about seeking help in the past due to a history of panic attacks. The turning point for me was having children and examining the relationship I had with my own parents growing up.

"I realised after the birth of my second child, who is now four months old, that ‘mini traumas’ from my past were affecting my parenting style and I needed a place to process this.

"Already after a couple of sessions, therapy is massively helping. Having space to talk to a professional who won’t judge me for what I’m feeling is beneficial. Everyone can benefit from therapy in my opinion."

"Pre-pregnancy and becoming a mum, I had never experienced any mental health issues. I developed anxiety during pregnancy due to having hyperemesis gravidarum and became scared to go out and be around food in case I was sick.

"Fast forward to my birth, it was a planned C-section so I had zero trauma and it was an all-round positive experience. Once home though, I quickly felt overwhelmed. I was having intrusive thoughts, I couldn’t stop crying, I couldn’t go outside, I convinced myself that my baby wasn’t mine and that she needed a better mum. I was so terrified to say anything and was racked with guilt and shame. When my baby was about three weeks old, I told my midwife that I thought I might be depressed. She told me to get in touch with my GP who organised therapy. I ended up stopping these sessions halfway through the course as they were over the phone and I didn’t find it was the right approach for me at the time.

"It wasn’t until two and a half years later when a completely different issue in my life arose that I decided to get therapy through my work. Every single session ended with me talking about how awful I felt in the early days of motherhood, and I can’t praise my therapist enough for how amazing she was.

"My therapist helped me to find joy again, particularly in the smaller moments. She taught me to take a step back, look at the bigger picture and regain perspective.

"Don’t be afraid to ask for help. As a new mum, you feel like you need to be the glue that holds everything together. Having someone external to your friends and family to walk through what you’re feeling and explain why you’re feeling that way is extremely helpful."

"My baby is now 16 months old and I started therapy when I returned to work, she was about 14/15 months at the time. I was finding myself feeling completely lost in the transition. Your life changes so much when you have a baby, then when you go back to something which is really normal like the workplace. I was completely thrown by the experience.

"I did think about going to therapy earlier in motherhood, but I was struggling to find time to research options and didn’t think I could fit sessions in around looking after my baby.

"When you become a new mum, it can be hard to have time to process what you’ve been through. Once my daughter went to nursery and I went back to work, it really hit me like a wave. It is so overwhelming juggling everything.

"I don't feel able to reach out to family and friends so therapy has been very important to me. I needed someone I didn’t know to help me through the transition of firstly becoming a mum and then going back to work. My therapist is helping me to feel joy again."

"I’ve had a number of different types of therapy over the years, from talking therapy after a double miscarriage, and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy (EMDR) to help with birth trauma and anxiety. I was also supported by my local perinatal mental health team following the birth of my son and now use an employer scheme to access therapy sessions.

"It was transformative and helped me during one of the most challenging times. None of the healing I have gone through would have happened without the different types of therapy, one size definitely doesn’t fit all.

"For me, therapy is such a good investment of my time. My therapist at the moment has given me resources and guides I can refer back to and has explained the mechanics of my mind so I understand why I am feeling a certain way.

"I now run poetry events and open mic nights for mothers to use their creative voice and speak creatively, but honestly about their own motherhood and mental health experiences. I would really encourage new mums who might be feeling alone to seek help, you can get the support you need and it will really change your life for the better. You’re not a bad mum for admitting you need help, there is no shame in reaching out to your midwife, doctor or directly to a therapist."

"During my pregnancy, I was diagnosed with peri-natal obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). I was shocked by the diagnosis. I didn’t realise that pregnancy also came with mental health side effects. As the birth approached, my anxiety got worse. I fixated on statistics around birth outcomes, and while my midwife was informative, hearing that the risk of stillbirth increases beyond 40 weeks made me nervous. I also began fixating on whether or not my baby was moving, attending the hospital regularly for checks. I really struggled with the lack of control throughout the pregnancy.

"Very soon after the birth, the overwhelming anxiety I experienced in pregnancy just seemed to disappear. However, it wasn’t long until new anxieties came along, particularly around SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome), and I found myself developing obsessive behaviours to manage it.

"As I was still under the care of the mental health team, they referred me to a therapist. The therapy was a mix of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and other techniques. I had a course of eight sessions, some over Zoom, others in person. We would sometimes go for a walk and he would challenge the ‘checks’ that I had developed while out and about, encouraging me to push myself and talk about how I was feeling.

"The therapy was transformational. He really helped me to manage those obsessive behaviours and intrusive thoughts. As my son got older, I began to feel better and have now been discharged.

"I really hope new mums push to get the help they need, I’d 100% recommend therapy to anyone struggling with their mental wellbeing. Don’t try to work through it alone."

"I first started counselling after I returned to work following my first child’s birth. I wanted to work part time, but I had to go back five days a week in a consuming job. I really struggled with this and it was impacting my relationship with my husband.

"I managed to get access to six free counselling sessions via a work scheme which was really helpful. They helped me to process and work through the issues I had, after the six free sessions I stopped counselling and felt better able to cope.

"I had to fight an employment tribunal case during maternity leave with my second child and it consumed me. After I won the case, I realised I had to deal with all the issues I had been bottling up. A friend recommended I visit Â鶹ԭ´´â€™s directory to find a therapist.

"I found a therapist who suited me and worked with them for almost year having weekly sessions. It was so helpful having the space to process what I had been through over the past couple of years and fully deal with my issues.

"You just try to survive and push a lot of feelings to one side in these scenarios as a mum, but at some point it will consume you like a wave and a therapist can help you get through this. It’s 100% ok to reach out for support with your mental wellbeing and I really hope we can reduce the stigma in getting help via therapy."